Beekeepers, yes… They've gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps … and their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] 'Aaargh! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!'" 'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it – beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2,000 bees … "raarzzz-bzzzzz" … and essentially you're trying to steal honey. "Bzzzzz!" "Morning! Morning! Morning! Hello, hello! Knock-knock, coming in! Hello! … Look! There's a Ferrari over there – can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's going very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!" They must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, they must go: "What the fuck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!" And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go: "Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee – I can get you a coffee … You know, I like my coffee like I like my women – in a plastic cup!" [does double-take] Beekeepers can't do that! 2,000 bees: "bzzzzz" … "Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?" "Huh?" "Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem!" "Bzzzzz …" "No real problem …" "I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!" "I-I like my women like I like my coffee, er, covered in bees! [to the bees] All right, back off, back off! Argh!"
I've been hearing the buzz (ha ha) about this since early spring. My mom was telling me yesterday about the show you must have seen. There's a Wikipedia article that covers most of the theories about what could be causing CCD. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colony_Collapse_Disorder
Seems it's not just in the US, but in Europe and other areas as well. It is scary. "Give me spots on my apples, but leave me the birds and the bees. Pleeeeease!"
At one time, I actually thought it would be cool to keep bees. It seemed like a nice thing, with the wax and the honey and all. Then I saw what people have to do to get the honey. That crazy astronaut outfit, the smoke machine, and swarms of angry bees buzzing about. I changed my mind. (I really laughed when I saw that Covered In Bees video someone posted a while back.)
Colon Collapse would be awful, too.
Oh, bees and all bugs for that matter freak me out! But I understand their importance. I would never keep bees though...I think I'm mildly allergic. I was stung when I was about 13-years-old and my foot got so swollen I couldn’t put my shoe on.
Yep. It must have been the same show that your mom saw. I think it was on PBS? Really informative and opened my eyes to a huge problem I didn't even realize existed.
Beekeepers, yes… They've gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps … and their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] 'Aaargh! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!'" 'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it – beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2,000 bees … "raarzzz-bzzzzz" … and essentially you're trying to steal honey. "Bzzzzz!" "Morning! Morning! Morning! Hello, hello! Knock-knock, coming in! Hello! … Look! There's a Ferrari over there – can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's going very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!" They must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, they must go: "What the fuck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!" And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go: "Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee – I can get you a coffee … You know, I like my coffee like I like my women – in a plastic cup!" [does double-take] Beekeepers can't do that! 2,000 bees: "bzzzzz" … "Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?" "Huh?" "Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem!" "Bzzzzz …" "No real problem …" "I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!" "I-I like my women like I like my coffee, er, covered in bees! [to the bees] All right, back off, back off! Argh!"
LMAO!
"Bzzzzz!" "Morning! Morning! Morning! Hello, hello! Knock-knock, coming in! Hello! … Look! There's a Ferrari over there – can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's going very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!"
The other problem is that my husband is a bee magnet. They just won't leave him alone. We can be side by side and they only go for him. I don't know what it is about him. We went to a botanical garden once (had to pay $10 each to get in) and he almost lost his mind. He ran out in a panic. He was attacked by bees a few times as a kid, so bees really freak him out. My mother bought us matching coffee mugs. Mine has a girl bear sitting outside having a picnic, all calm and nice. His has a boy bear trying to have a picnic, but is being chased away by bees. Here's a picture.
The other problem is that my husband is a bee magnet. They just won't leave him alone. We can be side by side and they only go for him. I don't know what it is about him. We went to a botanical garden once (had to pay $10 each to get in) and he almost lost his mind. He ran out in a panic. He was attacked by bees a few times as a kid, so bees really freak him out. My mother bought us matching coffee mugs. Mine has a girl bear sitting outside having a picnic, all calm and nice. His has a boy bear trying to have a picnic, but is being chased away by bees.
Hahaha...sucks that he has to go through that, but the mug idea is really clever, lol.
