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Scottish Dubliner Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 3:47 PM |
megg_inc wrote: Paul, boyfriend who was your best friend before is the best thing that could happen to a girl, so please, go for it! Especially as it seems that she has feelings for you!
yeah cause once you realize you don't wnat to spend the rest of your life with him, you lose a mate and a boyfriend.
Dubz |
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megg_inc Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 3:55 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote: megg_inc wrote: Paul, boyfriend who was your best friend before is the best thing that could happen to a girl, so please, go for it! Especially as it seems that she has feelings for you!
yeah cause once you realize you don't wnat to spend the rest of your life with him, you lose a mate and a boyfriend.
Dubz
You're so pessimistic... So you're saying that you shouldn't try to be with someone you love just because you were friends before? You can lose them anyway, but at least won't spend the rest of your life thinking 'what if'.
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megg_inc Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 3:56 PM |
| sorry, double post |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:05 PM |
megg_inc wrote: Scottish Dubliner wrote: megg_inc wrote: Paul, boyfriend who was your best friend before is the best thing that could happen to a girl, so please, go for it! Especially as it seems that she has feelings for you!
yeah cause once you realize you don't wnat to spend the rest of your life with him, you lose a mate and a boyfriend.
Dubz
You're so pessimistic... So you're saying that you shouldn't try to be with someone you love just because you were friends before? You can lose them anyway, but at least won't spend the rest of your life thinking 'what if'.
You say Pessimist I say realist...
No what I'm saying is why, when you can have an amazing friendship you would want to fuck it up by throwing sex into the mix, Mates are important, and please, yes I am being patronizing but only because I know and I'm a bit older, Once you get a bit older you may realise you can be with someone and it's more important not to let your hormones get in the way.
Surely if this person is a true friend (and btw friends do grow apart as they get older (or married, have kids) too) you wouldn't even think of jepordazing a friendship that "means so much" to you??
Dubz
Life is a Shitstorm - buy a hat
*actually* I've just re-read this and it makes no sense I do have an idea what I'm trying to say maybe it's time to go home and sober up!! |
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ricv64 Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:09 PM |
" life is a shitstorm , buy a hat "
that rules !
Dubs is making a valid point , things change . Hope it works out for ya Paul , give it a shot |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:12 PM |
ricv64 wrote: " life is a shitstorm , buy a hat "
that rules !
Dubs is making a valid point , things change . Hope it works out for ya Paul , give it a shot
I agree, eternal optomist, I really do hope it works... but be aware it could fuck up, although I really hope not.
Dubz
Make My Fucking Mind Up, hahahahahahaha |
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weirdmom Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:17 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote: Dubz
Life is a Shitstorm - buy a hat
First, Dubz, your saying is hilarious.
Second, I see what the point you're trying to make but I think that what Paul is feeling for her is more than hormones and sex.
And I guess there aren't statistics but while there are lots of couples who were friends first and broke up there are also lots of couples who were friends first and are together. My husband and I were friends first.
The point is not living with the 'what if' hanging over you. Why not just find out if she feels the same.
But also being someone who is older than Paul I see your point about as you age you can see how sometimes it's not worth losing a true friend over a roll in the hay. Yet I just get the sense that Paul's feelings for her are pretty deep and if she feels the same this could be a big deal type relationship and not just a month long mack session that makes things terribly awkward once they get it out of their system. |
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weirdmom Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:20 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote: *actually* I've just re-read this and it makes no sense I do have an idea what I'm trying to say maybe it's time to go home and sober up!!
Have you been drunk since Sunday?!?! : )
Reading your posts it seems like you're just trying to give Paul the whole picture, right?
I agree that it is a risk and it's good to remind him of that. But I think it's worth it. |
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megg_inc Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:22 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote:
You say Pessimist I say realist...
No what I'm saying is why, when you can have an amazing friendship you would want to fuck it up by throwing sex into the mix, Mates are important, and please, yes I am being patronizing but only because I know and I'm a bit older, Once you get a bit older you may realise you can be with someone and it's more important not to let your hormones get in the way.
Surely if this person is a true friend (and btw friends do grow apart as they get older (or married, have kids) too) you wouldn't even think of jepordazing a friendship that "means so much" to you??
Dubz
Life is a Shitstorm - buy a hat
*actually* I've just re-read this and it makes no sense I do have an idea what I'm trying to say maybe it's time to go home and sober up!!
I totally know what you mean, Dubz and I agree with you. Messing up a friendship with sex is extremely stupid. But I meant the situation when friendship becomes love. For both people. And of course, you should think 1000 times if it's really IT and if it's worth risking losing a friend. But again, I think love is worth taking risks.
Besides, I fell in love with my best friend and spent 2 pathetic years crying into pillow as he was with someone else. But I get through it and we're still best mates. So it's not like I have no idea what I'm talking about just because I'm not over 30 ;P |
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megg_inc Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:26 PM |
| Weirdmom, you've just said exactly what I meant but couldn't find words for! |
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ricv64 Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:35 PM |
megg_inc wrote: I'm not over 30 ;P
you will be somday , pretty awesome really |
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Turtleneck Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:46 PM |
This isn't any help, but I think the words of this song are appropriate. A person trying to decide whether to stay friends to take the leap into something else, but saying, "I don't want to, if you don't want to."
Want To
I packed a cooler and a change of clothes
Let's jump in, see how far it goes
You got my heart in your daddy's boat
We've got all night to make it float
We could sit on the shore
We could just be friends
Or we could jump in
The whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop it spinning
We could think it through
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came
with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
I got your ring around my neck
and a couple of nights I don't regret
You've got a dream of a degree and a shirt that smells like me
Yeah we both got dreams
we could chase alone
or we could make our own
The whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop it spinning
We could think it through
But I don't want to if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came
with nothing to lose
But I don't want to if you don't want to
Never waste another day wonderin' what you threw away
Holding me, holding you
I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
But I want to
I want you |
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Lemon Grinner Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 4:51 PM |
| I am rubbish with relationshippy things, but I hope it all works out well for you matey x |
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weirdmom Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 5:01 PM |
megg_inc wrote: I totally know what you mean, Dubz and I agree with you. Messing up a friendship with sex is extremely stupid. But I meant the situation when friendship becomes love. For both people. And of course, you should think 1000 times if it's really IT and if it's worth risking losing a friend. But again, I think love is worth taking risks.
Besides, I fell in love with my best friend and spent 2 pathetic years crying into pillow as he was with someone else. But I get through it and we're still best mates. So it's not like I have no idea what I'm talking about just because I'm not over 30 ;P
I think you said it pretty well yourself. Also I couldn't stand it when I was younger and people older than me acted like I must be a fool and couldn't possibly contribute or have a wise thought until I was at least 147 years old.
Your story of being in love with your friend for 2 years breaks my heart. That must have been hard.
And Turtleneck, I like those lyrics. It's not a solution but it does illuminate the feelings you have when you're trying to decide whether or not to take the plunge.
I felt sick to my stomach for weeks about whether or not I should fess up my feelings to my now husband. I was emailing this mutual friend over and over about it. He kept saying, "I really think you should talk to him." Apparently my husband was emailing the same thing and our friend was just cracking up at how scared we were both being. |
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dee Posted Tue 02 Oct, 2007 6:37 PM |
bah!
i'm the absolute last person i would go to for relationship advice if i knew me so I'll just go for the karma friendly statement of i hope everything happens for the good of all.
call me sappy if you want but it's what i really wish for you.
:D |
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