Travis

   
Why Do I Find This Funny??
mozman68
Posts: 1129
mozman68 Posted Wed 22 Aug, 2007 8:22 PM Quote
...because it's true in so many ways???

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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COMPREHENSION

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
 
Re: Why Do I Find This Funny??
goosey_84
Posts: 5323
goosey_84 Posted Wed 22 Aug, 2007 8:26 PM Quote
hahaha...i like the longevity one...and appearance! haha
 
Re: Why Do I Find This Funny??
AbsolutPurple
Posts: 8468
AbsolutPurple Posted Wed 22 Aug, 2007 8:36 PM Quote
MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


LOL
 
Re: Why Do I Find This Funny??
Beetlebum82
Posts: 199
Beetlebum82 Posted Wed 22 Aug, 2007 9:04 PM Quote
Quote:
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals


I take down it because I´m 25 and the greater part of my (more or less age)cousin are married.... grrrrrrr
 
Re: Why Do I Find This Funny??
nats
Posts: 1572
nats Posted Thu 23 Aug, 2007 6:47 AM Quote
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

__________________________________________________________

COMPREHENSION

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.



this are both true but still funny
 
Re: Why Do I Find This Funny??
Peewee
Posts: 2850
Peewee Posted Thu 23 Aug, 2007 8:04 AM Quote
Awwwww it's not all true! lol esp the romance bit lol. Funny tho :)
 
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