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The Man Rules
Scottish Dubliner
Posts: 8299
Scottish Dubliner Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 10:24 AM Quote
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports : It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball , or Football,
or golf, or Sex .

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know... I'll get me coat


Dubz

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
Re: The Man Rules
dee
Posts: 1608
dee Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 2:05 PM Quote
Scottish Dubliner wrote:


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



yeah, and he was trying to find india....
 
Re: The Man Rules
megg_inc
Posts: 3778
megg_inc Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 2:17 PM Quote
dee wrote:
Scottish Dubliner wrote:


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



yeah, and he was trying to find india....


classic!! =P
 
Re: The Man Rules
ricv64
Posts: 10115
ricv64 Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 2:22 PM Quote
SF mayor Gavin broke a man rule you didn't list , dont fuck your "best friends'" wife


vote Chicken John
 
Re: The Man Rules
Scottish Dubliner
Posts: 8299
Scottish Dubliner Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 3:05 PM Quote
megg_inc wrote:
dee wrote:
Scottish Dubliner wrote:


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



yeah, and he was trying to find india....


classic!! =P


and is credited with discovering the New World instead, all because he didn't ask for directions, hehe ;p

Dubz
 
Re: The Man Rules
AbsolutPurple
Posts: 8468
AbsolutPurple Posted Sat 03 Nov, 2007 5:19 PM Quote
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

no shit !
 
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